Getting old sucks

This is inspired by a recent conversation with one of my awesomely sarcastic and humorous friends. 

Getting old sucks. Why? Well there are the obvious reasons:

1. organ function decline
2. wrinkles
3. gray hair
4. incontinence
5. memory loss
6. funny breath syndrome, etc

Don't get me wrong, I love old people--my patients are old. They are pretty funny and they have some fantastic stories. I'm talking about the old when you aren't really old at all but you start to feel older.

Below are 4 reasons (of the many that exist) that getting old sucks...

Getting Old Sucks Reason #1--Activity ability
In high school, I was crazily active. Here's a quick rundown:

1. academic overachiever (hello 4.0 and Valedictorian)
2. danced ballet 4-5 nights a week (should have just moved a cot into the studio)
3. on the swim team (what up mediocre freestyler)
4. in the marching band (you can laugh for 5 seconds starting now: 5...4...3...2...1. Now stop. And also, if you've ever been to band camp you know that it is more like boot camp. It should seriously be a 1 week weight loss plan...go ahead and say your dirty jokes...)

So the point of the above now-what-seems-unnecessary summary describing my high school day-to-day schedule is that I was entirely too active. I should have been getting into trouble, but instead my Mother was one of those moms that decided the way to keep me out of trouble was to keep me occupied by as many activities as possible. She's smart because I definitely would have gotten distracted by trouble had I gotten even remotely bored.

Mom-1; Teenage hormones and rebellion-0.

Now I am 25 and am still very active compared to a lot of people, but I can't do nearly what I used to. So you all know that I dance like 10 days a week (figure that one out). Well I also enjoy running, especially around Boston in the summer. The Nike+ app on my iTouch makes me smile inside. Focus Dani. So I try to run as often as I can--ends up being about 2-3 days a week. I ran yesterday and didn't warm up enough and ended up tweaking my freakin Achilles tendon. So annoying. So I told my Mom about it and her response was, "Dani, you need to stop pushing your body so hard. You aren't 17 anymore." Thanks Ma. I'm a quarter of a century--appreciate the reminder.

Getting Old Sucks Reason #2--Beverage Consumption

In college, I could definitely handle my beverages. Keeping up with the boys was something that turned into a regular challenge for me. Challenge accepted. I usually succeeded...usually (you might be lucky enough to hear some of the unsuccessful challenges at some point--funny is an understatement). Now, I'm good to go after 2 or 3 beverages. Unless it is Jack D who is my best friend. It's ridiculous. And hangovers are basically expected with even just a few drinks--hence the reason I don't drink very often anymore.

Getting Old Sucks Reason #3--Cliche Grown-Up Phrases

My niece is THE coolest kid on the planet. She is 4-years-old and already sarcastic and sassy. There will be many stories of her I'm sure. You're welcome. Most awesome kid ever award goes to her. But because she is the love of my life, I'm super protective and irrational sometimes. I find myself saying things like, "When you're my age, don't do this." or "Someday you are going to think boys are cute. They'll have to deal with me first." or "Yes, I like Justin Bieber too." wait...what? Nevermind...

Getting Old Sucks Reason #4--Minivans
I don't care how old I get--I will NEVER own a minivan. In fact, minivans should be outlawed. Minivans are only useful if you are the Octomom (on a side note--google tried to correct octomom to stockroom. I'm so proud of google for not acknowledging octomom as an actual word.) and she should be outlawed too. Another thing--and some of you have heard me rant about this before--stick figure car decals. Really people? Really? Nobody cares that you have 3 boys and 1 girl. The boys play hockey, soccer, and read a lot and the girl likes butterflies. You have 2 dogs--1 big 1 small and another big dog that is in dog heaven. And that you dress like a soccer mom in Velour and you apparently live on a farm. I might start going undercover and taking the stupid decals off people's cars. You are NEVER EVER old enough to put them on your window. Outlawed.

Here's the deal though homeslices. Age is just a number. In my opinion (obviously it's my opinion--it's my blog), you should push as hard as your body can take it. Do as much as you can while you are still able.

In conclusion--getting old sucks because your body stops working as well, you want to sleep all the time, your liver decides it wants to be lazy, and you're expected to own a minivan equipped with stupid TMI stick figure decals. Not okay, people. Not. Okay.

Rant #1-Driving INabilities

Boston drivers...

Need I say more really? Abso-freakin-lutely.

How is it possible for you to change lanes when I am in plain sight right next to you? Dude, I'm not even in your blind spot. There is another Dunkin Donuts 100 feet away--I promise. You don't have to run me off the road to make sure you get into that specific Dunkies. I know Mia the Kia (a.k.a. my awesome car) is small, but she is feisty like her owner--tread carefully. And for all that is holy in this world, pay attention to your surroundings!

Why do you beep the horn the millisecond the light changes green? More importantly, how do you move so quickly? You should be an Olympian because your hand-eye coordination is top tier if you can move your hand that quickly. I certainly cannot move my feet that quickly and I'm a dancer. I'm not even mad, I'm impressed. (name that movie...and GO! If you don't know, stop being my friend...just kidding, sort of.)

Listen, I like your city--it is becoming my city. But just stop it. It's highly annoying and makes me want to sucker punch you in the kidney. Yes, sucker punch, not just normal punch. And yes, kidney, because it sounds cooler. I am very aware that it would be extremely painful.

Drivers' Ed 101: If you see a ball rolling across the street, there is bound to be a happy, little mini-person running behind it. This is also something called common sense. Very advanced concept.

Okay have I given Bostonians enough hell yet? Oh my bad, Bahstonians.

P.S. I really do love you. I just strongly hate your driving abilities/inabilities. Take your pick.

-Me

Round 2 at this blogging thing

So about 30 minutes ago, I decided I should start a blog because I have all of these thoughts scurry through my brain, and I figured some of them should be written down. When I went to google to start a blog, I was surprised to find I already have one--whoops. My memory is not the greatest...never has been; but it's been worse the last couple of weeks since I got a self-diagnosed mild concussion...story to follow possibly.

Anyway, back in 2010 when I started this blog, I was:

• living in Tennessee
• had recently become single
• was in grad school for Epidemiology
• and was trying to figure out my next steps in life

Now my world is completely different. I am:

• living in Boston
• am still single after a few random dates
• have my MPH
• and am still trying to figure out my next steps in life

Mmk, so maybe it's not all that different on the surface. But in light of my new geographical location, I'll use this blog to grace you with my adventures. You're welcome in advance. Funny things happen to me--some of them I can't actually share on here because they aren't very appropriate. But I'll share the ones that I would be okay with, let's say, a potential employer or my Mother seeing. Okay, maybe I'll venture out a little bit if the story is REALLY good. I can't promise I won't give some throwback stories from my glory days in college--I'll put a disclaimer on those.
Before we get started, here are a few things about me:
1. Longwinded? nahhh. okay. yes. get over it.
2. I enjoy awkward moments. In fact, I flourish in an awkward situation.
3. The words "You're welcome" come out of my mouth at unwarranted times. I just think the look on people's faces is priceless when you say you're welcome and didn't actually do anything or did something that they aren't really happy about or when they didn't say thank you.
4. Ellipses are precious. I'm trying to distance myself from this cute little punctuation as I am a professional now, but sometimes they sneak in to play.
5. If I get political (which my goal is to NOT get political), I lean to the left...pretty liberal. Don't read those if you don't agree.
6. I'm an avid dancer so most of my posts will involve dancing or other dancers in some way. Classically trained in ballet. Also trained in jazz. I am able to dance most of the ballrooms (chacha, foxtrot, waltz, samba, tango, rumba, bolero, etc.). I fell in love with Salsa, bachata, etc. in 2010. But in 2011, West Coast Swing took over my life. So if you see WCS, that means West Coast Swing. Get used to it. I have an addiction.


You'll learn other things as time goes on I guess. I tend to be an open book and give way too much information, or TMI as those kids call it now-a-days. (Oh and I pretend I'm old...)