Boston drivers...
Need I say more really? Abso-freakin-lutely.
How is it possible for you to change lanes when I am in plain sight right next to you? Dude, I'm not even in your blind spot. There is another Dunkin Donuts 100 feet away--I promise. You don't have to run me off the road to make sure you get into that specific Dunkies. I know Mia the Kia (a.k.a. my awesome car) is small, but she is feisty like her owner--tread carefully. And for all that is holy in this world, pay attention to your surroundings!
Why do you beep the horn the millisecond the light changes green? More importantly, how do you move so quickly? You should be an Olympian because your hand-eye coordination is top tier if you can move your hand that quickly. I certainly cannot move my feet that quickly and I'm a dancer. I'm not even mad, I'm impressed. (name that movie...and GO! If you don't know, stop being my friend...just kidding, sort of.)
Listen, I like your city--it is becoming my city. But just stop it. It's highly annoying and makes me want to sucker punch you in the kidney. Yes, sucker punch, not just normal punch. And yes, kidney, because it sounds cooler. I am very aware that it would be extremely painful.
Drivers' Ed 101: If you see a ball rolling across the street, there is bound to be a happy, little mini-person running behind it. This is also something called common sense. Very advanced concept.
Okay have I given Bostonians enough hell yet? Oh my bad, Bahstonians.
P.S. I really do love you. I just strongly hate your driving abilities/inabilities. Take your pick.
-Me
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