Getting old sucks

This is inspired by a recent conversation with one of my awesomely sarcastic and humorous friends. 

Getting old sucks. Why? Well there are the obvious reasons:

1. organ function decline
2. wrinkles
3. gray hair
4. incontinence
5. memory loss
6. funny breath syndrome, etc

Don't get me wrong, I love old people--my patients are old. They are pretty funny and they have some fantastic stories. I'm talking about the old when you aren't really old at all but you start to feel older.

Below are 4 reasons (of the many that exist) that getting old sucks...

Getting Old Sucks Reason #1--Activity ability
In high school, I was crazily active. Here's a quick rundown:

1. academic overachiever (hello 4.0 and Valedictorian)
2. danced ballet 4-5 nights a week (should have just moved a cot into the studio)
3. on the swim team (what up mediocre freestyler)
4. in the marching band (you can laugh for 5 seconds starting now: 5...4...3...2...1. Now stop. And also, if you've ever been to band camp you know that it is more like boot camp. It should seriously be a 1 week weight loss plan...go ahead and say your dirty jokes...)

So the point of the above now-what-seems-unnecessary summary describing my high school day-to-day schedule is that I was entirely too active. I should have been getting into trouble, but instead my Mother was one of those moms that decided the way to keep me out of trouble was to keep me occupied by as many activities as possible. She's smart because I definitely would have gotten distracted by trouble had I gotten even remotely bored.

Mom-1; Teenage hormones and rebellion-0.

Now I am 25 and am still very active compared to a lot of people, but I can't do nearly what I used to. So you all know that I dance like 10 days a week (figure that one out). Well I also enjoy running, especially around Boston in the summer. The Nike+ app on my iTouch makes me smile inside. Focus Dani. So I try to run as often as I can--ends up being about 2-3 days a week. I ran yesterday and didn't warm up enough and ended up tweaking my freakin Achilles tendon. So annoying. So I told my Mom about it and her response was, "Dani, you need to stop pushing your body so hard. You aren't 17 anymore." Thanks Ma. I'm a quarter of a century--appreciate the reminder.

Getting Old Sucks Reason #2--Beverage Consumption

In college, I could definitely handle my beverages. Keeping up with the boys was something that turned into a regular challenge for me. Challenge accepted. I usually succeeded...usually (you might be lucky enough to hear some of the unsuccessful challenges at some point--funny is an understatement). Now, I'm good to go after 2 or 3 beverages. Unless it is Jack D who is my best friend. It's ridiculous. And hangovers are basically expected with even just a few drinks--hence the reason I don't drink very often anymore.

Getting Old Sucks Reason #3--Cliche Grown-Up Phrases

My niece is THE coolest kid on the planet. She is 4-years-old and already sarcastic and sassy. There will be many stories of her I'm sure. You're welcome. Most awesome kid ever award goes to her. But because she is the love of my life, I'm super protective and irrational sometimes. I find myself saying things like, "When you're my age, don't do this." or "Someday you are going to think boys are cute. They'll have to deal with me first." or "Yes, I like Justin Bieber too." wait...what? Nevermind...

Getting Old Sucks Reason #4--Minivans
I don't care how old I get--I will NEVER own a minivan. In fact, minivans should be outlawed. Minivans are only useful if you are the Octomom (on a side note--google tried to correct octomom to stockroom. I'm so proud of google for not acknowledging octomom as an actual word.) and she should be outlawed too. Another thing--and some of you have heard me rant about this before--stick figure car decals. Really people? Really? Nobody cares that you have 3 boys and 1 girl. The boys play hockey, soccer, and read a lot and the girl likes butterflies. You have 2 dogs--1 big 1 small and another big dog that is in dog heaven. And that you dress like a soccer mom in Velour and you apparently live on a farm. I might start going undercover and taking the stupid decals off people's cars. You are NEVER EVER old enough to put them on your window. Outlawed.

Here's the deal though homeslices. Age is just a number. In my opinion (obviously it's my opinion--it's my blog), you should push as hard as your body can take it. Do as much as you can while you are still able.

In conclusion--getting old sucks because your body stops working as well, you want to sleep all the time, your liver decides it wants to be lazy, and you're expected to own a minivan equipped with stupid TMI stick figure decals. Not okay, people. Not. Okay.