This is what my 5-year-old niece has figured out.
As my sister is driving...
Kid, "Mommy, is Mars a star?"
Sis: "No, it's a planet. You can see it sometimes in the sky though like you can see stars."
Kid: "Oh. Could we live on Mars?"
Sis: "Well no we couldn't because we would have trouble breathing."
Kid: "Oh so there must not be any trees on Mars because if there were trees, we would have oxygen and could breath."
oh.
muh.
gawd.
really??????????she's a genius.
Tuesday, September 4, 2012
Thursday, August 30, 2012
How to fix the economy...I have the secret
That's right--I know the secret to fixing the economy. The other day the boy and I got in a discussion about society and related ideas. The discussion involved how we think society should be and all the ways that it is silly.
Here's my idea on how to fix the economy. I know I have some pretty outlandish (so you say-psh) philosophies--things that would work in an ideal world, but not necessarily in reality. But, I think this might actually work.................if people would listen to me.
The economy would get better if we didn't spend so much time at work. Let it brew for minute--think about it--see! it makes sense! For those who don't get it, allow me to elaborate.
How much of your day is wasted while you are at work because you HAVE to be at work? (I'm talking about my salary workers. Hourly workers, I don't have a solution for you yet.)
Salary workers are typically expected to be at work 8-5 Monday through Friday or some other time frame.
And how many of those hours do you ACTUALLY do work? How many of those hours do you spend doing personal things or playing on facebook or texting or perusing Pinterest?
NO ONE DOES THAT, RIGHT????? wink wink wink wink wink.
There's no shame in that--it's impossible to work for 8-9 hours straight with no mental breaks-impossible and dangerous. You have to give your brain a break somewhere.
So honestly, out of the hours you spend at work each day, how many hours do you think you spend doing real work? Maybe half they day? 4 hours?
Now picture this:
Rather than staying at work for at least 8 hours every single day, we are only required to stay at work until we finish our work and then have an "on call" system when necessary for the rest of the business day. An outcomes-based system, if you will.
This would be beneficial for several reason:
1. Efficiency: employees would be more efficient at work. They wouldn't spend work time doing non-work things because they could go home to do non-work things.
2. Employer Resources: employees wouldn't be using work resources (i.e. computer) for non-work things. Also, this could even be extrapolated to the use of electricity and other utilities. If employees left work as soon as they finish, they wouldn't be using any employer resources.
3. Healthier America: If employees could leave work when they are finished (whether that is 2 hours or 6 hours), they'd end up having more of the day for free time. They could use this to work out, run errands, go shopping, cook dinner every night, etc. Think of how much healthier the population would be! We could work out more efficiently rather than skipping our workout or doing a piss-poor job at working out because we are tired. We would have the time to cook dinner every night. Oh the insanity!!
4. More time to spend money: With more spare time comes more time to spend money. How many times have you not gone out to do something because you were tired and wanted to stay home on your couch? Think of how we would go shopping more often, go to the movies more often, enjoy life more often!
It all makes sense. We'd be getting the same amount of work done and be at work less allowing us to enjoy life more. We'd be more alert at work because we'd get more sleep and be more efficient in our outcomes.
Who's with me?? How do we make this happen? I need to talk to someone important stat...
Here's my idea on how to fix the economy. I know I have some pretty outlandish (so you say-psh) philosophies--things that would work in an ideal world, but not necessarily in reality. But, I think this might actually work.................if people would listen to me.
The economy would get better if we didn't spend so much time at work. Let it brew for minute--think about it--see! it makes sense! For those who don't get it, allow me to elaborate.
How much of your day is wasted while you are at work because you HAVE to be at work? (I'm talking about my salary workers. Hourly workers, I don't have a solution for you yet.)
Salary workers are typically expected to be at work 8-5 Monday through Friday or some other time frame.
And how many of those hours do you ACTUALLY do work? How many of those hours do you spend doing personal things or playing on facebook or texting or perusing Pinterest?
NO ONE DOES THAT, RIGHT????? wink wink wink wink wink.
There's no shame in that--it's impossible to work for 8-9 hours straight with no mental breaks-impossible and dangerous. You have to give your brain a break somewhere.
So honestly, out of the hours you spend at work each day, how many hours do you think you spend doing real work? Maybe half they day? 4 hours?
Now picture this:
Rather than staying at work for at least 8 hours every single day, we are only required to stay at work until we finish our work and then have an "on call" system when necessary for the rest of the business day. An outcomes-based system, if you will.
This would be beneficial for several reason:
1. Efficiency: employees would be more efficient at work. They wouldn't spend work time doing non-work things because they could go home to do non-work things.
2. Employer Resources: employees wouldn't be using work resources (i.e. computer) for non-work things. Also, this could even be extrapolated to the use of electricity and other utilities. If employees left work as soon as they finish, they wouldn't be using any employer resources.
3. Healthier America: If employees could leave work when they are finished (whether that is 2 hours or 6 hours), they'd end up having more of the day for free time. They could use this to work out, run errands, go shopping, cook dinner every night, etc. Think of how much healthier the population would be! We could work out more efficiently rather than skipping our workout or doing a piss-poor job at working out because we are tired. We would have the time to cook dinner every night. Oh the insanity!!
4. More time to spend money: With more spare time comes more time to spend money. How many times have you not gone out to do something because you were tired and wanted to stay home on your couch? Think of how we would go shopping more often, go to the movies more often, enjoy life more often!
It all makes sense. We'd be getting the same amount of work done and be at work less allowing us to enjoy life more. We'd be more alert at work because we'd get more sleep and be more efficient in our outcomes.
Who's with me?? How do we make this happen? I need to talk to someone important stat...
Tuesday, August 7, 2012
Best. Email. Ever.
I received an email today--quite possibly the best email I've ever gotten. Definitely the most intriguing.
"Hi Auntie:
I really love you and miss you. I like the calendar and card and i love everything you gave me.
Love,
[The Kid]"
Things to note:
The Kid just turned 5 years old.
This came from her personal email account.
She's five.
This came from her personal email account that was written on her personal tablet.
She's fiiiiiiivvvvvvvvveeeeeeeee.
I'm highly confused and yet impressed by this event. Here's the kicker...both her Mom and Nana were at work when this email was sent. So now the question remains...who the aych-eee-double-hockey-sticks typed for her???
I don't even care. My level of amusement, intrigue, and delight from this event trump any desire to answer that question. I look forward to more emails and might start writing a book from them.
Monday, July 30, 2012
Convo with the Kid
Kids are hilarious. Think of how interesting the world would be if we were all uncensored like children. They come up with the greatest statements--insightful most of the time, irrational the rest of the time.
The Kid is great. I had a 2 hour conversation with her the other day in which I spoke maybe a total of 10 words. She was just chattin away. I don't know half of what she was talking about. At one point she got on this topic: what to do if someone has lost their puppy or kitten.
Kid: "So Auntie, if someone loses their puppy or kitten, I should not help them because they might steal me and then I could end up dead."
Me: "What have you been watching?"
Kid: "Nothing. I was just thinking that I should be careful. Because I'm cute. And people might want to take me. So I should only help someone I know. Like if Mommy's friend Beth loses her kitten...she doesn't have a kitten...but if she bought a kitten and then lost it, then I could help her look for him because I know Beth and I play with Beth's daughter..."
Me: "Oh you do? How do you know that she would buy a boy kitten?"
Kid: "She would."
Me: "Okay."
Kid: "So is that right? I should only help people I know."
Me: "How about this: you only help Mommy or Nana or me look for any puppy or kitten that we might lose. Anyone else, you say no."
Kid: "But what if they REALLLLLLY need help."
Me: "I'm bigger than you and can tell you what to do. Just say no."
Kid: "I'll be taller than you someday."
Me: "Have you been talking to your mother lately."
Kid: "Auntie, I talk to my mudder everyday. I talk to your mudder everyday too. True story."
...yes I taught my niece to say True Story. It's awesome...
Then I said I had to go because I had a date with the Boy and had to take a shower. She was not happy about this.
Kid: "Auntie who is he?"
Me: "He's my boyfriend."
Kid: "Why?"
Me: "Because."
Kid: "Because isn't an answer." (damn myself for ever using that as a response to her!!)
Me: "Well because I want him to be."
Kid: ....silence..."My foot hurts."
Me: "Are you not happy about this?"
Kid: "I don't care. My foot hurts. Call me back when you get out of the shower, okay?"
Me: "Okay."
Kid: "Do you promise? You have to promise to call me back."
Me: "Yes baby, I'll call you back."
Shower...start to put clothes on...maybe 25 minutes has passed.
Cell phone rings...caller ID reads "Mom"...my brain: I'll call her back when I'm ready.
Phone IMMEDIATELY rings again...caller ID reads "Mom"...my brain: something must be wrong, she only calls twice in a row if something is wrong.
Me: "Hello?"
Kid: "YOU DIDN'T CALL ME BACK!!"
Me: "I was getting dressed."
Kid: "Oh. well you said you would call me back when you got out of the shower. What are you going to wear? You should wear red. It's your best color. Or black...it's slimming."
Me: "Do you even know what slimming means?"
Kid: "No."
Me: "Okay I'm gonna get dressed."
Kid: "Wait, guess what?"
Me: "What?"
Kid: "Chicken Butt."
Me: "Okay kid. I love you. I'll call you back."
Really??? She's awesome.
Disclaimer: This conversation happened a few days ago so it is not exact, but it's as close to accurate as possible. She really does talk like this. Smartest kid I know.
The Kid is great. I had a 2 hour conversation with her the other day in which I spoke maybe a total of 10 words. She was just chattin away. I don't know half of what she was talking about. At one point she got on this topic: what to do if someone has lost their puppy or kitten.
Kid: "So Auntie, if someone loses their puppy or kitten, I should not help them because they might steal me and then I could end up dead."
Me: "What have you been watching?"
Kid: "Nothing. I was just thinking that I should be careful. Because I'm cute. And people might want to take me. So I should only help someone I know. Like if Mommy's friend Beth loses her kitten...she doesn't have a kitten...but if she bought a kitten and then lost it, then I could help her look for him because I know Beth and I play with Beth's daughter..."
Me: "Oh you do? How do you know that she would buy a boy kitten?"
Kid: "She would."
Me: "Okay."
Kid: "So is that right? I should only help people I know."
Me: "How about this: you only help Mommy or Nana or me look for any puppy or kitten that we might lose. Anyone else, you say no."
Kid: "But what if they REALLLLLLY need help."
Me: "I'm bigger than you and can tell you what to do. Just say no."
Kid: "I'll be taller than you someday."
Me: "Have you been talking to your mother lately."
Kid: "Auntie, I talk to my mudder everyday. I talk to your mudder everyday too. True story."
...yes I taught my niece to say True Story. It's awesome...
Then I said I had to go because I had a date with the Boy and had to take a shower. She was not happy about this.
Kid: "Auntie who is he?"
Me: "He's my boyfriend."
Kid: "Why?"
Me: "Because."
Kid: "Because isn't an answer." (damn myself for ever using that as a response to her!!)
Me: "Well because I want him to be."
Kid: ....silence..."My foot hurts."
Me: "Are you not happy about this?"
Kid: "I don't care. My foot hurts. Call me back when you get out of the shower, okay?"
Me: "Okay."
Kid: "Do you promise? You have to promise to call me back."
Me: "Yes baby, I'll call you back."
Shower...start to put clothes on...maybe 25 minutes has passed.
Cell phone rings...caller ID reads "Mom"...my brain: I'll call her back when I'm ready.
Phone IMMEDIATELY rings again...caller ID reads "Mom"...my brain: something must be wrong, she only calls twice in a row if something is wrong.
Me: "Hello?"
Kid: "YOU DIDN'T CALL ME BACK!!"
Me: "I was getting dressed."
Kid: "Oh. well you said you would call me back when you got out of the shower. What are you going to wear? You should wear red. It's your best color. Or black...it's slimming."
Me: "Do you even know what slimming means?"
Kid: "No."
Me: "Okay I'm gonna get dressed."
Kid: "Wait, guess what?"
Me: "What?"
Kid: "Chicken Butt."
Me: "Okay kid. I love you. I'll call you back."
Really??? She's awesome.
Disclaimer: This conversation happened a few days ago so it is not exact, but it's as close to accurate as possible. She really does talk like this. Smartest kid I know.
Friday, July 13, 2012
The Kid
My. Niece. Is. The. Best. Child. Ever. Sorry to you readers who have kids and think that your kid is the best. You're wrong. My niece is hilarious. My one regret in life is that I have not written down every funny thing she has said over the last 4 years. Her personality is like mine, except she has a mean streak so it's even funnier cause SHE IS FOUR and already sassy as hell!
First, she's smarter than most adults I know. She reasons through things so quickly in her head. Not to mention she's adorable. Blonde hair, bright blue eyes--
I've decided from now on, I'm writing things she says down. Granted, it's funnier when I repeat it in person because they I can demonstrate how sassy and animated she is. But alas, herein lies the woes of the written word.
So my niece's funny lines from last weekend:
"Auntie, I can get a donut from Dunkin Donuts, right? Because I'm not diabetes."
...no Kid, you are not the personification of a debilitating disease.
"Now, remember, you can't wear perfume in the summer if you go outside because it attracts bees. It's important."
...thank you for my random common sense fact of the day, kid.
My favorite from the past. Allow me to set up the scene. My family was going on a Disney Cruise and the Kid was trying to convince me to come. It didn't work because those bee eye tee see ayches are expensive.
"Auntie, you HAVE to come. You know why? You need to go swimming with me. Nana won't go and Mommy can't go because she might get kicked in the belly by a dolphin and get an infection."
...because dolphin kicks are the number 1 cause of infection nationwide--in the Kid's world.
True.Story. which is another line I have taught her, along with how to pound it and "that's what she said"--even though that one is not always at the correct time comedically speaking. Google doesn't like the word comedically but I'm going to use it anyway.
Unrelated to my niece, my name is apparently now Jack Dani to some of the west coast swing world. When I consume Jack Daniels, my alter-ego comes out--Jack Dani. Let me tell you a little about Jack Dani:
1. she's awesome.
2. she gets thug sometimes. aka she thinks she is thug and says silly things like "Jack Dani in da houuuuuuuuuse."
3. no it's not normal and I'm fully aware of this.
4. she likes to stand on things that make her taller.
5. she is able to flawlessly carry the beverage without spilling it.
6. people constantly laugh around her.
7. she thinks she is a much better dancer than she is actually dancing at that time.
8. she craves Nutella.
9. she thinks she's invincible.
10. she's basically my current personality, but amplified.
I will update this list as I become more aware of what actually happens.
First, she's smarter than most adults I know. She reasons through things so quickly in her head. Not to mention she's adorable. Blonde hair, bright blue eyes--
Dear current 4-8-year-old little boys,
I will cause you serious pain if you hurt my niece 10 years from now. The wrath of Dani will come out--you will see the Hulk. Yes, it's a threat.
With deepest regards,
the Aunt who will beat you up
I've decided from now on, I'm writing things she says down. Granted, it's funnier when I repeat it in person because they I can demonstrate how sassy and animated she is. But alas, herein lies the woes of the written word.
So my niece's funny lines from last weekend:
"Auntie, I can get a donut from Dunkin Donuts, right? Because I'm not diabetes."
...no Kid, you are not the personification of a debilitating disease.
"Now, remember, you can't wear perfume in the summer if you go outside because it attracts bees. It's important."
...thank you for my random common sense fact of the day, kid.
My favorite from the past. Allow me to set up the scene. My family was going on a Disney Cruise and the Kid was trying to convince me to come. It didn't work because those bee eye tee see ayches are expensive.
"Auntie, you HAVE to come. You know why? You need to go swimming with me. Nana won't go and Mommy can't go because she might get kicked in the belly by a dolphin and get an infection."
...because dolphin kicks are the number 1 cause of infection nationwide--in the Kid's world.
True.Story. which is another line I have taught her, along with how to pound it and "that's what she said"--even though that one is not always at the correct time comedically speaking. Google doesn't like the word comedically but I'm going to use it anyway.
Unrelated to my niece, my name is apparently now Jack Dani to some of the west coast swing world. When I consume Jack Daniels, my alter-ego comes out--Jack Dani. Let me tell you a little about Jack Dani:
1. she's awesome.
2. she gets thug sometimes. aka she thinks she is thug and says silly things like "Jack Dani in da houuuuuuuuuse."
3. no it's not normal and I'm fully aware of this.
4. she likes to stand on things that make her taller.
5. she is able to flawlessly carry the beverage without spilling it.
6. people constantly laugh around her.
7. she thinks she is a much better dancer than she is actually dancing at that time.
8. she craves Nutella.
9. she thinks she's invincible.
10. she's basically my current personality, but amplified.
I will update this list as I become more aware of what actually happens.
Tuesday, July 3, 2012
You know life is good when...
...random, crappy things keep happening to you and it doesn't get ya down. List of crappy things in 3..2..1..
Alright all my pessimistic readers, prepare yourself to figuratively vomit by how awesome I am:
1. Basically, I'm a combination of Robin and Barney. True story.
2. It's summer.
3. I quote HIMYM and the Office on a regular basis. Life can't get much better than that.
4. My friends are like Nutella/peanut butter/banana sandwiches. ALWAYS AWESOME.
5. I get to see my Ma and the Kid in a day (That's my niece--who is basically the best little person on the planet. (She's 4-years-old, not a midget. is that how you spell it? is that politically correct? do i care? all valid questions.))
Wow, I just pulled a double inner monologue. Niiiiiiiiiice.
6. I managed to find a pretty awesome dude who is a bigger dork than I am and just as funny. Alright, ALMOST as funny. ;) No he's definitely funnier than I am. But my boobs are bigger! hah! I win! (Refer to previous post for my theory on boobs.)
7. It's summer. Need I really say more about this?
8. My last dance competition was rather successful...6th place. holler ballers.
9. It's summer. I can wear shorts. I like shorts. a. lot.
10. I went skydiving a month or so ago. Well indoor skydiving. And I'm pretty Bee-Ay.
11. I've done a few other adventurous things that I won't share on a public forum.
12. I have a fantastic new apartment and even better new roommate (Teach from previous posts).
13. I'm training for a Half Marathon (now that I've put it on a public forum--I can't back out. Part of my strategy).
14. My hair is pretty when it wants to be. It has a mind of its own, like my eyebrows.
15. I got my first flapper...flipper?...forgot what its called from bouldering the other day. Apparently, that means I'm a real climber. I may or may not have made that vocabulary term up. Jury's out.
16. I have a blog. Blogging=the final step to becoming awesome
Sum(1-15)=Awesomely fantastical life. Only Barney Stinson uses the word awesome more often than I do. Thank you NPH. Your welcome Universe.
Who actually googled "fantastical"? Pretty sure I made it up.
- There was the whole car-towing debacle. Mia the Kia is fixed now, but I'm still waiting on payment from the completely deranged towing company.
- Another recent disaster happened with Mia. It's my fault this time (about time something happened to my car that was actually my own fault). Ugh. I'm an idiot. I don't want to talk about it even though I'm fully aware that I am posting this statement on a public forum. No, I still don't want to talk about it.
- I'm waiting on the third bad thing to happen. (Don't bad things happen in 3's? Maybe Andy Griffith dying was the 3rd bad thing? Can I make that my 3rd bad thing? How does the bad thing in 3's work? Have I asked enough questions to the universe yet?)
- My right hip has been being silly lately and deciding it wants to cause me pain.
- My right ankle always causes me pain because it hates me.
- My left big toe has decided that it no longer wants me to feel it, and it has gone partially numb. no big deal.
- According to the doctor, I have the beginning of an ulcer. I'm supposed to decrease my stress or I'm going to get a full-blown ulcer. My way of decreasing stress is doing more fun things...it's working :)
Alright all my pessimistic readers, prepare yourself to figuratively vomit by how awesome I am:
1. Basically, I'm a combination of Robin and Barney. True story.
2. It's summer.
3. I quote HIMYM and the Office on a regular basis. Life can't get much better than that.
4. My friends are like Nutella/peanut butter/banana sandwiches. ALWAYS AWESOME.
5. I get to see my Ma and the Kid in a day (That's my niece--who is basically the best little person on the planet. (She's 4-years-old, not a midget. is that how you spell it? is that politically correct? do i care? all valid questions.))
Wow, I just pulled a double inner monologue. Niiiiiiiiiice.
6. I managed to find a pretty awesome dude who is a bigger dork than I am and just as funny. Alright, ALMOST as funny. ;) No he's definitely funnier than I am. But my boobs are bigger! hah! I win! (Refer to previous post for my theory on boobs.)
7. It's summer. Need I really say more about this?
8. My last dance competition was rather successful...6th place. holler ballers.
9. It's summer. I can wear shorts. I like shorts. a. lot.
10. I went skydiving a month or so ago. Well indoor skydiving. And I'm pretty Bee-Ay.
11. I've done a few other adventurous things that I won't share on a public forum.
12. I have a fantastic new apartment and even better new roommate (Teach from previous posts).
13. I'm training for a Half Marathon (now that I've put it on a public forum--I can't back out. Part of my strategy).
14. My hair is pretty when it wants to be. It has a mind of its own, like my eyebrows.
15. I got my first flapper...flipper?...forgot what its called from bouldering the other day. Apparently, that means I'm a real climber. I may or may not have made that vocabulary term up. Jury's out.
16. I have a blog. Blogging=the final step to becoming awesome
Sum(1-15)=Awesomely fantastical life. Only Barney Stinson uses the word awesome more often than I do. Thank you NPH. Your welcome Universe.
Who actually googled "fantastical"? Pretty sure I made it up.
Tuesday, June 5, 2012
The Adventures of Moving
Well gangsters, I'm officially an unofficial resident of Watertown now. Natick will only be visited if I need a trip to the mall. Just a little background: When I moved up here (by here, I mean the arctic), I wasn't planning on traffic being disastrous. In TN, it takes no more than 30 minutes to go 17 miles. So logically, I was an idiot and decided living 17 miles from work wasn't all that bad. It took me over an hour on some days to get to work. And then with my grueling dance schedule, I'd be driving home at 11:30/12. That late it would take me 30 minutes; but 30 minutes when your exhausted is a very long time. Absurd. Therefore, I decided to move closer to work and dance and the city with one of my awesome dance friends. We'll call her Teach (because she's a middle school teacher and has this ability to always teach me some random fact or give the "teacher disapproval" that makes you feel so bad about yourself...I'm not that creative.) So Teach and I find this close-to-perfect apartment for us in Watertown. Great location for us both. Nice size (living room is a little small but beggars can't be choosers). Parking (ha! I'll get to that). A running trail about 2 seconds from our front door (slight under-aggeration). A few downsides--but the upsides outweigh them.
So if you know me even a little bit, you know that I'm very organized. I can be impulsive about things (shhhh don't judge); but for the most part, I plan well in advance for big things like...oh...moving all of my belongings in 1 day.
Without going into too much detail, I was proactive with this as well. Teach and I tried our best to plan way far in advance with the realtor (we shall call him EffHead because that's what I have named him) so that things would run smoothly. Shortly before we moved in, all these random additional fees kept popping up. One of them was a $50 charge to "lease" the parking pass. We just thought, 'that's silly and messed up that they didn't tell us at first. but oh well, we get it back when we move out in a few years.' Then we find out that we actually only get 1 spot until September 1st. Well this is a problem because we both drive our cars everywhere. Perfect. That's convenient, EffHead. I tried to contact EffHead 2 weeks prior to the move to coordinate a time to pick up the keys and parking pass; he did not respond. He's so good at his job. So the day before the move, I'm still trying to contact this man to set up a time to get the keys. It's a busy day because I have to pick up my friend (we'll call him Hulk...I had several other options for a nickname but this one won because of his crazy moving abilities and the fact that we both have a strange affinity for the Hulk after seeing Avengers), pick up the moving truck, load the truck, unload the truck, return the truck, etc. So EffHead finally responds and basically tells me that I have to meet him at 9am at the apartment because he is too busy and his schedule is full. I argue for a while because that's ridonk. But it ends up working out (and by working out, I mean I drove to meet him at his office just to drive back to Natick to get the truck and load it). EffHead was also supposed to get the parking pass and lease to me when he gave me the keys. He didn't. I paid for it. He told me since they have my registration information, my car would be fine. Proof is important. I have a receipt (although it doesn't help me much in this story).
So the actual move was surprisingly amusing. Hulk carried most of the heavy things by himself after he realized that my little (wo)man syndrome is just that...a syndrome. I'm not nearly as strong as I think I am. Hulk carried the tv by himself, the boxspring by himself, the table by himself. Just silly. Hulk found great amusement out of watching me attempt to carry things. He even suggested I pull the mattress up the stairs. This process ended with me conquering 3 stairs (great success) and ending on my badonkadonk. Well played, Hulk. Well played.
I go on with my weekend as normal. A lot of dancing and unpacking (and a random stint of indoor skydiving--impulsive-ish act--which is phenomenally fun and I'm kind of awesome at. Think it's the small, dancer thing. Flexible back and such. I'm definitely doing the real thing.) I digress.
Let's jump to Sunday night. Watching HIMYM with Teach. I hear a truck in our parking lot, and think, 'trucks don't fit back there.' I immediately get up and see my car on the back of a tow truck. Teach is calm and I am not so thank God she was there. I ended up having to pay the dudes $50 to get them to put my car down. This is after I became hysterical and had minor heart palpitations (I'm dramatic). Teach and I email EffHead the next day basically saying we expect reimbursement and how disappointed we are with the services. EffHead is even more of a scumbag so Teach jumps in with her "teacher disapproval" methods and makes him feel like a horrible person (we hope...he never responded. hehe). On top of all that, the towers threw my alignment off. Awwwwwwwwwesome.
So to recap: EffHead is a d-bag. I'm down 50 bucks because EffHead thinks it's not his fault in his own little scummy fantasy land. My alignment is off, but I can't do anything about it other than just pay to get it fixed because I have no proof it was straight before the towers decided to play with my car like it was a Hot Wheels. And thanks to Teach, I now have my parking pass.
Word to the wise, if you are ever moving in the Boston area, pass the realtor's name by me or Teach first. If it's EffHead, we'll let you know.
So if you know me even a little bit, you know that I'm very organized. I can be impulsive about things (shhhh don't judge); but for the most part, I plan well in advance for big things like...oh...moving all of my belongings in 1 day.
Without going into too much detail, I was proactive with this as well. Teach and I tried our best to plan way far in advance with the realtor (we shall call him EffHead because that's what I have named him) so that things would run smoothly. Shortly before we moved in, all these random additional fees kept popping up. One of them was a $50 charge to "lease" the parking pass. We just thought, 'that's silly and messed up that they didn't tell us at first. but oh well, we get it back when we move out in a few years.' Then we find out that we actually only get 1 spot until September 1st. Well this is a problem because we both drive our cars everywhere. Perfect. That's convenient, EffHead. I tried to contact EffHead 2 weeks prior to the move to coordinate a time to pick up the keys and parking pass; he did not respond. He's so good at his job. So the day before the move, I'm still trying to contact this man to set up a time to get the keys. It's a busy day because I have to pick up my friend (we'll call him Hulk...I had several other options for a nickname but this one won because of his crazy moving abilities and the fact that we both have a strange affinity for the Hulk after seeing Avengers), pick up the moving truck, load the truck, unload the truck, return the truck, etc. So EffHead finally responds and basically tells me that I have to meet him at 9am at the apartment because he is too busy and his schedule is full. I argue for a while because that's ridonk. But it ends up working out (and by working out, I mean I drove to meet him at his office just to drive back to Natick to get the truck and load it). EffHead was also supposed to get the parking pass and lease to me when he gave me the keys. He didn't. I paid for it. He told me since they have my registration information, my car would be fine. Proof is important. I have a receipt (although it doesn't help me much in this story).
So the actual move was surprisingly amusing. Hulk carried most of the heavy things by himself after he realized that my little (wo)man syndrome is just that...a syndrome. I'm not nearly as strong as I think I am. Hulk carried the tv by himself, the boxspring by himself, the table by himself. Just silly. Hulk found great amusement out of watching me attempt to carry things. He even suggested I pull the mattress up the stairs. This process ended with me conquering 3 stairs (great success) and ending on my badonkadonk. Well played, Hulk. Well played.
I go on with my weekend as normal. A lot of dancing and unpacking (and a random stint of indoor skydiving--impulsive-ish act--which is phenomenally fun and I'm kind of awesome at. Think it's the small, dancer thing. Flexible back and such. I'm definitely doing the real thing.) I digress.
Let's jump to Sunday night. Watching HIMYM with Teach. I hear a truck in our parking lot, and think, 'trucks don't fit back there.' I immediately get up and see my car on the back of a tow truck. Teach is calm and I am not so thank God she was there. I ended up having to pay the dudes $50 to get them to put my car down. This is after I became hysterical and had minor heart palpitations (I'm dramatic). Teach and I email EffHead the next day basically saying we expect reimbursement and how disappointed we are with the services. EffHead is even more of a scumbag so Teach jumps in with her "teacher disapproval" methods and makes him feel like a horrible person (we hope...he never responded. hehe). On top of all that, the towers threw my alignment off. Awwwwwwwwwesome.
So to recap: EffHead is a d-bag. I'm down 50 bucks because EffHead thinks it's not his fault in his own little scummy fantasy land. My alignment is off, but I can't do anything about it other than just pay to get it fixed because I have no proof it was straight before the towers decided to play with my car like it was a Hot Wheels. And thanks to Teach, I now have my parking pass.
Word to the wise, if you are ever moving in the Boston area, pass the realtor's name by me or Teach first. If it's EffHead, we'll let you know.
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